I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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