Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
