didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
