how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
