she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize