is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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