No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
