You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
