I am puke
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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