I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it because I queefed?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
