and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
