she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
