Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
