i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's great music for shaving your balls
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Congratulations! We have a period
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
