I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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