let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
