So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
