Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
