no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
