were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
