You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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