forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
