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I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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