Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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