he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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