Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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