My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
