Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
