i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
