I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
