I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
