whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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