and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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