Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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