yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
