No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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