Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
