I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
