Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
