Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
