you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
