if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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