im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's the barista slut.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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