I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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