Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
