then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
