i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
