YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
