I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize