Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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