either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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