dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
