Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
