Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
