It's like God shit irony all over that family
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
