Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
