Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
