I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
