I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
