It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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