honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
