I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
