I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I take back everything I said about communal showers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm getting married
To pizza
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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