just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
