and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
